Last Goodbye
by Stoked-55
Summary: A lot can change with time... NOC, NS
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Never have and more than likely never will own anything in this that you recognize. Not even Nick.

A/N: Hello everyone! Guess what! I'm not dead! Woohoo! This is a WIP and from the feel of things, it's going to be a long one. I hope we make it through. Anyway, you may have to be patient with me along the way, sometimes more than others depending on the writer's block, but I as least wanted to give you this little teaser and regain some of your interest. Thanks so much for your support guys. You rock. Sask, as always, thanks for all your words of wisdom.

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Sara hated airports nearly as much as she hated flying. Not because of the congestion around the baggage corral. Large crowds surprisingly didn't bother her much, despite being a self-proclaimed claustrophobic. Nor did the vague directions the signs pointed her in, guiding her through the arrivals terminal at McCarran; she had, after all, lived in the city for a number of years, and had been through the airport several times. Not even the airport security, marching around on condescending power trips, their chests puffed out and noses in the air, perturbed her. She simply paid them no mind. All these things she could deal with.

What got to her was the loneliness. All around her people were embracing, whether being welcomed home or kissed goodbye. As per usual, she had no one. The emptiness and longing was something she was never able to overcome. No smiling face to greet her, no arms to fall into. At least, not anymore.

A small body crashed into her legs, jarring her from her melancholy thoughts. She staggered a bit then turned to see two large brown eyes staring up at her in surprise.

"Holly!" a voice called, and Sara looked around to see a man coming towards her. He reached the little girl and scooped her up, scolding lightly, "Holly, what did Mommy and Daddy say about running off?" The child ducked her head under her father's chin and jammed her thumb in her mouth.

The man glanced at Sara. "Sorry about that," he said hurriedly, trying to adjust the strap of a diaper bag slung over his shoulder and balance the toddler in his arms. "She's just really started walking and sometimes it's hard to get her to stop."

"That's fine," Sara said, offering a tight smile. Feeling the standard tug on her heart, she touched the little girl's head. "You have a beautiful daughter."

"Thank you," the man gushed, then suddenly spotted someone over Sara's shoulder. "Look Holly, there's Nana!" They were gone as quickly as they had come.

Sara heaved a sigh and slung her long coat over one arm, grabbing her suitcase with the other. Painstakingly she made her way through the throngs of people to the rental car desk. She nodded to the clerk behind the counter when the middle-aged woman held up an overly manicured finger. Smoothing a hand over her hair, Sara rested her arms on the high counter. Absentmindedly she listened to the boarding calls transmitted over the intercom while waiting for the clerk, whose nametag identified her as Mindy, to finish her conversation on the phone.

"Jackass," Mindy muttered, snapping her gum and replacing the receiver. "Sorry about that. How can I help you, hon?"

Sara quickly filled out the required paperwork, paying for the rental with her government issued credit card. One of the perks of working for the FBI, these seminars and all accommodations were paid for by the Bureau. Our tax dollars at work, she thought mirthlessly. Mindy handed her a receipt and instructed her where to go to pick up her car. Sara hefted her suitcase up again and made a beeline for the door, anxious to escape the stagnant air and droning noise of the terminal.

Exiting through the automatic doors, she was nearly overwhelmed by the afternoon desert heat that confronted her. Somehow she had nearly forgotten just how hot and arid the Vegas air could be. She was grateful that the air-conditioning was going strong when she climbed behind the wheel of her newly acquired, non-descript sedan.

Slipping her sunglasses over her eyes, she drove away from the bustle of the airport, directly into the heavy traffic heading north into Las Vegas. Cars crawled along the interstate, seeming to shimmer mirage-like in the heat.

Sara double-checked the address of the hotel just off the Strip where she had a reservation and made her way there from memory. Pleased with herself for not needing to check the map she had picked up at the rental car counter just in case, she eased the car into the parking lot of the Southway Inn.

After checking in went over without a fuss, she stepped into the modest room and dropped her suitcase by the small dresser. Tossing her coat and purse on one of the room's two beds, she laid down on the other and stared at the white ceiling, subconsciously counting the tiles. She glanced at the green numbers displayed on the clock radio and debated taking a nap but quickly decided against it. Better to adjust to the little bit of jetlag as soon as possible. The conference didn't start until the following day anyway; she could get a good sleep that night if her body was willing.

She stood and opened the drab curtains, allowing the bright sunlight into the room and stared down at the tiny patch of the Strip that her view allowed. Chewing the inside of her cheek, she mulled over what she could do with herself for the rest of the day. The casinos didn't really appeal to her since she'd never had the luck that seemed to shine on some people. Of course there was always a show to take in, but really the idea of going alone was rather depressing.

After flicking through all the channels the room had to offer and finding nothing worth subjecting herself to, she finally opted to just go for a drive to get out of the seclusion of her room if nothing else. Her therapist was always telling her how she really shouldn't spend so much time isolated from the rest of the world. Hell, people had been telling her that her whole life. As she pulled a fresh t-shirt over her head she wondered, as she often did, why she was paying him two hundred dollars an hour to tell her the exact same thing. Before leaving she looked through her carry-on, found her brush and ran it through her hair, tying it up off her neck.

She decided to go by her old neighborhood. It was a nice, suburban area with parks nearby, which was why she had chosen to live there years ago. A good place for walks or jogs, away from the noisy flurry of activity that was downtown. Sara found a place to park in the shade on a side street. Remote locking the doors with a satisfying beep, she shoved her hands in her pockets and started to walk at a leisurely pace. Her eyes took note of the slight changes that had taken place since she'd lived there; a renovated house here, a tree removed there, a pothole which had wreaked havoc on her suspension in the past that had finally been filled.

Forty-five minutes later, crossing the street to avoid the spray of a lawn sprinkler, she found herself passing by the local elementary school. The yard was quiet save for a few small kids on the play structure; school was evidently still in session. As Sara followed the chain link fence around a corner, she watched a little boy wearing a bright red ball-cap awkwardly climb a rope ladder to the top tier of the structure and plop himself down at the top of a long red tube-slide.

"Watch me Daddy! Watch me!" he called, waving his little arms frantically at his father who sat on a bench near where Sara had stopped to watch.

Sure that he had his dad's attention, the boy scooted himself forward until gravity took over and sent him shooting down the slide fast enough for him to fly off the end, landing flat on his butt in the soft sand with a startled look on his face. His father laughed heartily, and Sara froze, her heart skipping a beat.

"Good job, buddy!" he called, his back still turned to her. Standing from the bench he clapped his hands a few times in applause. "You're alright. Come on get up. 'Atta boy. Do it again."

It was him. She was sure of it, recognizing him now.

"Nick." She spoke before she even realized it, so taken off guard by seeing him there, not ten feet away.

He heard his name and whirled around immediately wearing a friendly smile, eyebrows raised expectantly. When he saw her, his face slowly went slack in shock. Quickly he pulled his sunglasses from his eyes as though the action itself would help clarify what he was seeing. "Sara."

Some silver was starting to show at his temples, more laugh lines appeared around his mouth and at the corners of his eyes and he was sporting a goatee, but otherwise he was the same Nick she had left behind. Sara didn't know what to do, torn between launching herself at him and running away as fast as her legs would carry her. Instead she stood there stunned, waiting for him to make the first move.

"Sara Sidle," he repeated. For a split second, Sara could have sworn she saw a deep anger flare in his dark eyes but it was quickly extinguished, replaced by a familiar sparkle as his grin slowly reappeared. "Is that really you?"

Words found their way to her mouth. "Hello, Nick."

"Goddamn. It's, uh, wow...good to see you," he said. Sara was touched to see he meant it. "Really good."

He stepped forward and formerly offered his hand. She took it carefully, at once remembering the sensation of the roughened skin of his palm on hers and her entire body warmed. Tentatively, Nick leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her cheek. Sara turned her face to his on reflex and for a heart stopping second their lips brushed. Nick quickly pulled back, letting her hand fall. He dropped his eyes and cleared his throat.

Embarrassed, Sara was straining to think about something to say, anything to end the awful silence that had fallen. Nick beat her to it.

"So..." His mind raced through the million and one questions he wanted to ask her all at once. "Uh, where... have you been?" He was staring at her now, his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for an explanation that was clearly owed to him. God, where did she start?

Mercifully, she was interrupted when the small boy that had first caught her attention appeared between them. His fist had a secure hold on Nick's jeans.

"Daddy, who's that?" he asked, squinting up at her.

"Uh, this is my friend Sara," Nick said, stooping down to pick his boy up and settled him on his hip. He absently brushed sand off the chest of his overalls. "Can you say hi?"

"Hi," he said obediently with a shy smile, wrapping his arms tightly around his dad's neck.

"Sara. This is my son, Benjamin," Nick introduced. He spoke lightly, but the hesitant if not cautious undertone didn't go unnoticed by either of them.

"Your son," she whispered softly. His eyes met hers, a shared pain reflected in them. Sara gave herself a mental shake; no need to go there. No need whatsoever. Steeling herself she smiled at the child. "It's nice to meet you Benjamin."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello. How are you today? I'm just fine, thank you. I actually got this chapter out much sooner than I had originally anticipated. But I'll ask again that you bear with me if there are big gaps between posts. Thanks again for your support and feedback!

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"Sara. This is my son, Benjamin," Nick introduced. He spoke lightly, but the hesitant if not cautious undertone didn't go unnoticed by either of them.

"Your son," she whispered softly. His eyes met hers, a shared pain reflected in them. Sara gave herself a mental shake; no need to go there. No need whatsoever. Steeling herself she smiled at the child. "It's nice to meet you Benjamin."

The boy smiled again, a bashful grin inherited from his father. "I'm this many," he announced matter-of-factly, sticking up two pudgy little fingers.

She laughed a little. "Wow, you're a big boy aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm big," he said proudly. "But Brandon's bigger. Daddy?"

"Yes, Ben?" Nick replied, looking away from his perusal of her face to the boy in his arms. He pulled his son's cap off and brushed sweaty dirty-blonde hair off his forehead. Sara noted the flash of gold on his finger.

"Um, when is Mommy and Brandon coming again?" he asked, cocking his head and furrowing his brow. Another Nick-ism.

Nick's eyes went to Sara's again. "Soon, buddy. Why don't you go play and let me know when you seen them coming, alright?" He set the toddler down and watched him scurry back over to the playground.

"So," he turned back to Sara and rubbed the back of his neck. He gestured to the bench he had been occupying and they both sat, eyeing each other carefully. "What, uh, brings you back to Vegas?"

"Well, work, funnily enough." Her fingers fidgeted with the strap of her bag. It all felt so odd. She never thought she'd even see this man again, let alone make small talk with him in a park while his two-year-old son played nearby. To be near him again and try to pull off something of a normal conversation was proving difficult for her. Especially after seeing just how much things had changed. "There's a forensic DNA analysis conference this weekend-"

"At the Flamingo, yeah, yeah. But I thought it was-"

"FBI?" she smirked. They still managed to finish each other's sentences. Old habits die hard after all.

Realization dawned on him and he smiled. "Oh, I see. So, Sara Sidle finally went fed, huh? I don't believe it." He rested his elbow on the back of the bench, propping his head on his fist.

"That's Special Agent Sara Sidle now," she replied, smiling and starting to feel a little more at ease. He'd always had that affect on her. "Of the Boston field office forensics lab."

"That's where you've been all these years," he said quietly.

She nodded. "For the most part. I was back in California for a little while, right after..."

"After you left."

She dropped her gaze feeling uncomfortable again. His even tone was accusatory but the hurt in it made matters that much worse "Yes."

Nick shifted again, turning to rest his forearms on his thighs and looked across the park to where Ben sat, digging happily in the sand. He started cracking his knuckles one by one, a habit that had always driven her nuts. Once upon a time she would have admonished him for it with playful threats and promises of looming arthritis, but now she found the act was almost comforting in its familiarity.

"Sara," he spoke again, his eyes turning back to hers. He struggled, trying to sort through the extensive jumble of thoughts that raced through his mind. There were so many, many questions that he wanted answered, needed answered, that he had no idea where to begin. "Sara... why did –"

The shrill sound of the bell ringing, swiftly followed by the roar of the children that came pouring out of the school interrupted him. He sighed and chuckled under his breath, shaking his head.

"Saved by the bell," he quipped with a crooked grin, nudging her with his elbow. She smiled back.

"They're coming, Daddy!" Ben's little voice announced. He arrived at his father's side out of breath and rosy cheeked, and pointed back towards the schoolyard. "Mommy and Brandon are coming!"

"Thanks buddy. You wait with me until they get here, okay?" Nick said, pulling him up into his lap. He turned back to Sara. "You going to be in town for a while?"

"The conference is just a couple days, over the weekend," she replied, watching Ben examining his father's watch. "I've got to get back as soon as it's over."

"Oh." Nick wasn't sure why he felt a bit disappointed to hear that. "Well, if you have the time," he twisted to reach into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He removed a white business card then scribbled on the back with a pen and handed it to her. "That's my cell number. I'd like to catch up, you know. Maybe meet for coffee or something. If you want."

Sara nodded and took the card knowing that he wanted more than to just catch up. He wanted to know exactly what it was that had happened seven years ago and she owed him that much.

"That would be really nice," she glanced at the card and raised an eyebrow. "Supervisor Stokes?"

"Long story," he said, smirking while he tickled Ben's ribs, making the boy squeal laughter. "You've missed a lot."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I know."

He frowned, seing the unhappiness that crossed her face and was about to apologize when Ben squirmed out of his grasp and started running across the grass.

"Mommy!" he shouted running up to a lovely blonde woman coming towards them with a dark haired boy of about four in tow. She scooped him up and planted a big kiss on him before looking over to where Nick and Sara were sitting.

"Well, I should probably go," Sara said. She quickly rose from the bench, trepidation fluttering in her stomach.

"Yeah, okay." Nick stood as well, sensing her unease and feeling a bit of his own as his wife approached. "But please, Sar. Think about giving me a call."

"I will," she said quickly, slinging her purse over her shoulder. She was starting to back away when the other woman reached them. The two boys were laughing and chasing each other back and forth.

"Hey babe," she greeted Nick, sliding her hand into his.

"Hey," he said back, leaning down to drop a quick kiss on her lips. "Nat, I'd like you to meet my... friend, Sara. We used to work together at the crime lab a few years back. Sara, my wife Natalie."

"It's nice to meet you Sara," Natalie said with a friendly smile and offered her hand. She stood a few inches shorter than Sara and had her long blonde hair tied back. Her kind blue eyes sparkled when she smiled.

"Likewise," Sara managed, doing her best to control the bitter jealously that suddenly came crashing through her without warning. Right away she could sense why Nick would be attracted to this woman's warm personality; it rivaled his. It was also served to remind her that it was something that Sara herself lacked. "Well, I've really got to get going."

"Okay," Nick nodded, understanding her need to flee. "Good to see you Sara."

"You too." She turned and walked away, her heart pounding in her chest.

"It was nice to meet you!" Natalie called after her.

Sara looked back for a second and forced an awkward smile and a half wave, then quickly continued on her way, feeling Nick and Natalie watching her go.

"So is that _the_ Sara? As in 'your ex-fiancée' Sara?" she asked.

"The very one. As I live and breathe." He waited in silence for a minute to see if she would say anything about him and Sara, ready to defend himself and his intentions as honorable but his worry proved unnecessary.

"I don't think she likes me very much," she whispered conspiratorially in his ear, drawing his arm up and around her shoulders, not letting go of his hand. "Boys! Let's go! Brandon, get your backpack sweetie."

Brandon and Ben started racing back to their parents, both shouting that they were going to beat the other, despite the elder boy's lead.

"Yeah, well," Nick shrugged, looking away from Sara's retreating form and replacing his sunglasses. He squeezed her shoulders and kissed her temple. "I don't really like you much either."

He grunted when she less than gently bumped his hip with hers and led her away to where he had parked their SUV on the street. Buckling Ben into his car seat, he looked around for Sara again and saw her disappearing around a corner down the street. He sighed as he pulled the driver's side door open, feeling emotions that he had thought long since dead begin to stir in his heart.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: My, oh my. It's me, can you believe it? I can't either. So sorry about the gap folks… well I guess it's more like a crevice, between updates, but what can I say? I did at least warn you that this could happen. Let's just hope we don't have to wait as long for my muse to come around again between updates now. Thanks so much for your continued support and patience. Cheers.

Ps- This would have been posted yesterday if stupid had been cooperating… grumble, grumble

Nick sat lost in thought at the kitchen table, watching through the sliding glass doors as his sons played tug-o'-war with the family's yellow lab, Dixie, in the backyard. He snorted a quiet laugh when the dog easily dragged both boys across the lawn for the umpteenth time, ensuring grass stains galore. Oh well, that's why God invented Tide.

He was feeling detached from his surroundings. It was like he had just woken from a deep sleep, experiencing everything that was happening around him but not really registering it. Seeing Sara today had certainly thrown him, and he wasn't quite sure how to land on both feet without shattering the new life he had slowly and painstakingly constructed after she was gone.

Nick had always been one to scoff at the term broken heart. When a relationship ended he had always told himself that there were plenty of fish in the sea and you could always pick up and move on, no problem. And he always had... until Sara. Yes it was true he had eventually moved on from her too, but god how it had hurt when she left. She had not only broken his heart, but had taken pieces of it from him as well, leaving a void that until now he had thought Natalie and his boys had completely filled. Now he was starting to doubt whether he really had ever let Sara go.

"No, actually Nick and I were thinking of hosting Christmas next year for a change."

He looked over his shoulder as Natalie came into the kitchen and went over to the stove on the other side of the island. She continued yammering away to her sister while she stretched to reach for the kids' favorite ceramic bowls from the top shelf and Nick, almost without thinking or even turning his head, let his eyes roam over her body. The portable phone cradled expertly between her ear and shoulder, Nat began serving the pasta he had made earlier for supper.

"Hang on just a sec… yeah, just a second. Nick?" Nat turned to look at him, holding the mouthpiece of the phone to her chest. "Can you call the boys in please, babe?"

"Huh? Oh, sure." He rose and slid the door open, stepping out onto the deck. The sun was low in the sky, but its heat still hung in the air like a bad smell. Dixie came running up to see him, tail wagging happily against his leg. "Hey, pup. Okay you crazy kids, supper time."

Both boys scrambled up the steps, pink-cheeked and out of breath from playing. Brandon stopped in front of Nick and pulled up his sleeve, revealing a tiny scrape on his elbow. "Dad? I hurt my arm; can I please have a Spiderman Band-Aid? But not a Winnie the Pooh one though, 'kay?"

Nick bent to examine the wound, holding onto Brandon's arm and shooing the dog to keep her from licking his ear. "Oh, jeez buddy, this looks serious. I think we might need to cut it off. We'll have to go to the arm store, get you a new one. "

"No, Daddy!" Brandon giggled, trying to wrestle his arm away. "I just need a Band-Aid!"

"Me too!" Ben insisted, intently searching his limbs for some sort of mark he could pass off as a wound.

"Are you sure? Okay, inside and get washed up guys. No not you Dix!"

Nick eased her out with his foot and closed the door. He went over to get a band-aid for Brandon, reaching on top of the refrigerator and intentionally pinning Natalie against it before she could open it to get the milk. She turned and smirked, the phone still held to her ear. Softly, he placed a kiss on her neck. "Pardon me, madam. Hey, Suze."

Grinning when he heard his sister-in-law's tinny voice greet him through the ear piece, he winked at his wife and moved away to see what the boys were up to. Six clean hands, two band-aids and one water fight later, the Stokes men returned to the kitchen to join Natalie at the table. She took one look at their dampened state and sent Nick a look.

"What?" He pointed at his sons. "They started it."

"No we didn't!"

"Did not, Dad!"

"Did too!" He stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry, which in turn caused raucous giggles and a contest to see who could make the loudest noise.

Natalie sighed and closed her eyes, reaching for her wine glass. "I swear it's like having three children."

Nick grinned and took a mouthful of his pasta. Throughout the meal though, he was strangely quiet, just watching his family, taking in every move and interaction they made animatedly sharing stories about their respective days. He spoke up once to protest a near food fight, but otherwise remained silent. Natalie noticed and finally reached over to rub his thigh.

"You okay, bud?"

"Hmm? Yeah. Yeah, why?" He knew exactly why, realizing Sara was still on his mind, and felt guilty for it.

"Don't know. You just seem…" She shook her head and shrugged. "Far away."

He smiled and took her hand in his, kissing the back of her fingers. "Just thinkin' I guess."

"About me?" she asked coyly, batting her eyelashes.

It was meant to be teasing, but he sensed something else in the question. For a moment Nick felt as if he'd been caught; that Natalie knew damn well it was Sara Sidle filling his thoughts, a place she truly had no right to be. His mouth opened to answer her but he wasn't sure what he was going to say. And looking back it was in that brief moment of hesitation that he saw the true confusion and doubt flicker in her eyes for the first time. He took a breath to try again when Benjamin accidentally knocked his cup over, sending noodles in a tide of milk across the table. Both parents jumped into action, armed with a dishcloth and paper towels and for the time being the moment was forgotten. Nick highly doubted it would remain that way.

By the time dinner and dessert were over, the hands on the clock had found their way around to the seven. Nick took a last swig of wine, wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood, clearing the table. "I gotta go or I'm gonna be late."

"Sure, get them all riled up and full of sugar and covered in spaghetti sauce and ice cream and then leave," Natalie ribbed, bringing the remaining dishes and cutlery over to the sink. "I knew I married you for a reason."

"You married me for my body," he murmured in her ear, resting his hands on her hips. She laughed as he left a tender kiss on her lips. "Bye. Have a good night."

"Boys, be good for mom, or else I'll come home and hang you upside down by your toes," he threatened playfully, kissing them both on the top of their heads. "Good grief Benny, how did you get ice cream there? I love you guys, see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Daddy."

Nat followed him down the hall to the front door, saying over her shoulder, "Now I want you gremlins to go upstairs and get undressed in the bathroom; it's bath time. And please try not to touch the walls or the carpet!" She added, hearing them tearing up the stairs, yelling all the way. "They must get it from you. I was so innocent."

Nick chuckled and shook his head, sliding his arms into his jacket. "You, ma'am, are anything but innocent." He started his habitual search for his keys in all his pockets.

"Well, you're the only one who knows that." She wrapped her arms around him, running her hands up and down his back. "So, do you think you might be able to bring this body I married you for home early tomorrow?" Bringing her mouth to his, she softly let the tip of her tongue touch his lips. "Before the boys wake up?"

"I might be able to work something out," he smirked, holding her closer and kissing her deeply. "At the usual rate, of course."

She swatted him and pushed herself away. "You wish. Now get out of here before I change my mind."

"Promises, promises." He paused and looked her over. "I love you, Nat."

"Love you too." There was a loud bang, followed by shrieks and laughter upstairs. Natalie sighed again and laughed. "I'd better go see what that was. Bye, hon. Don't forget."

"Not a chance. Bye."

Nick waited for her to close and lock the door before sauntering over to the driver side of his truck. Climbing inside, he double checked to make sure he had his cell phone and plugged in its charger. He wanted to make sure the batteries wouldn't die on him, just in case he received a certain call.


End file.
